To be perfectly honest, I am coming out of one of the toughest ministry seasons of my life. There has been more transition, struggle and pain this year in my personal life and at work than ever before. Managing all these transitions has been more complicated and difficult because of some deep-seated insecurity in my own heart.
I’ve known for years that insecurity cripples many of us, including me — especially me! So many times I’ve cried out to God to know how to respond to something or someone because my insecurity would stand on end, cloud my judgment and impact my ability to know with confidence how to respond in a particular situation.
When insecurity raises its hateful head, it will
o Cloud your judgment
o Bring confusion,
o Hold you back from positive progress,
o Negatively effect your relationships with others,
o And negatively impact your view of God.
I wonder if you can relate to me.
Do you find yourself vacillating back and forth between obedience and insecurity, struggling with some mystery force that somehow keeps you from walking in full confidence and accomplishing the longings of your heart? Insecurity steals your joy, drains your strength and positions you as an orphan.
If you can relate, raise your hand.
So, how can we overcome insecurity? I hope the following ideas might be of help to you.
It took awhile (my whole life) to really accept that I was insecure. My natural tendency is to cover it over with hard work, diligence, commitment and perseverance. Basically, I just barrel through. But years of trying had left me weary. Aging has some benefits, one of which is learning to prioritize what and how you live your life. I just wasn’t willing to keep on keeping on.
Tell yourself the truth
I finally had to bring it all the way down to the fact that I believed a lie. My lie (what’s yours?) was that I must take care of myself. If anything good was going to happen, (or if anything bad was going to be prevented) somehow it was up to me. In the smallest places in me, I was still an afraid little girl, trying to control every nuance of a situation in order to produce a result that would receive the approval of a father.
The last thing I wanted to do when I felt insecure was to get real. Oh how I hate this step, but it has brought me the greatest freedom, peace and security. It was the turning point of my journey. Finally being able to articulate my disappointment, my fears, and my fatigue to God, helped me begin to spiritually mature enough to handle both the blessing and the warfare that comes with a life in ministry.
Healing is a process. It’s easy to understand it when you look at the human body. If you broke your leg, you’d give yourself the time, grace, resources and help to get well. But when you are unwell (insecure) on the inside, it harder to grasp that healing takes time. I am being healed everyday. I still find moments where the insecurity has set up a nesting place in my life. Now I imply acknowledge it, sweep it out, put truth in that place and move forward. It’s getting easier and it’s happening faster. It’s a process.
Our insecurities are a picture of us struggling to crucify the flesh and to allow our spirit to rule. A spiritually mature person is someone who is led by the principles and power of the Word of God. I want to be spiritually mature. I am not willing to be led anymore by that little girl who felt so much responsibility for everyone and everything else. I have determined that all of my thoughts, circumstances, attitudes and feelings have to yield to the Word of God.
Those who are spiritually mature are not insecure. To be secure means to be fixed or fashioned so as not to give way, to become loose or to be lost. As I have become secure in the fact that God is concerned about everything related to me and that He will defend me, care for me, provide for me and love me — I am finally finding my security in Him alone.
If you struggle with deep-seated insecurity, refuse to allow the shame, the frustration or the lack of clarity to hold you back one more moment.
Everyday I feel the benefit of this new place in the spirit. Even in this moment, I am facing a significant circumstance that in the past might have overwhelmed me. Yet today — I feel calm. I feel secure. I am not moved. I am walking in the love of God in a new way and I can promise you that all the hard work — the secret work — is worth it.
ABOUT JAN GREENWOOD
Jan has been a part of the Pink team at Gateway Church since 2007, and currently serves as pastor of women. She is the author of “Women at War” and has a passion for creating powerful female relationships. We are so thankful to have her voice represented here for She Leads.