April 28, 2019
Parenting Adult Children

I remember reading and learning about some of the challenges of the toddler years, and the teenage years, and so was somewhat prepared for those…but I was taken by surprise with the encounters that come with adult children.  I didn’t see the changes coming! The consequences of decisions made or not made by adult children are so much greater than the consequences of the toddler who won’t share a toy, or the teenager who misses curfew.

I am very blessed in that both of my children love God, His Church, and Philip and me. However, I did have to learn a few things along the way.

1.     Ask for help
There are people who have navigated this season, so get some wisdom- either in person or by reading a book. (Doing Life with your Adult Children by Jim Burns is a great one!)

2.     Stop hovering
My generation was referred to as ‘helicopter’ parents. Most of us supervised every decision and activity of our children. This is the time to stop. Our job now is to simply be available. Don’t offer unsolicited advice. (I admit this is hard for me!) Let them experience the consequences of their own decisions.

3.     Have fun together
This is the best part of adult children!  Do fun things together. Sporting events, dinners, even vacations.  My daughter has become one of my best friends, and I love the fun we have together!

4.     Set boundaries
Everyone needs help, but there is a line between enabling and helping. I think I have crossed it a few times, which is why it is good to get help!

5.     Apologize and offer grace
As with any relationship, mistakes will be made. Be the first to apologize when you might resort to ‘helicoptering’ or trying to control.

6.     When they marry and become parents, don’t make them choose between you and their new family.
Enjoy the time you have and make the decision to be uncomplicated. Assist them as they parent, but again, no unsolicited advice!

 

 

ABOUT HOLLY WAGNER

Holly and her husband, Philip, are the Pastors of Oasis Church – a growing, relevant, multi-cultural, church located in Los Angeles. They have been married for over 30 years, love life and enjoy spending time with their two adult children, Jordan and Paris. Holly is passionate about seeing women become who God has designed them to become, and to see every generation of woman extend a helping hand to the generation that is younger. Through the women’s ministry of Oasis, She Rises (GodChicks), she has empowered thousands of women around the world. Holly has written several books including Find Your Brave, WarriorChicks, Love Works, and Awakened.

April 25, 2019
All the Feels

I am raising two girls, Brooklyn who is 15 and Avery who is 10 and our house has “ALL THE FEELS!” This season of parenting is very different from babies and toddlers. There is less concrete and so much more abstract! When my kids were little the objective was to keep them alive, keep them safe and teach them to understand and respect authority. Can I just say that it really is so important how you parent your children from the start. The temper tantrum that you think is cute with your two year old who’s fighting to get her way is not nearly as funny in your 13 year old down the road. And that adorable little boy that likes to tell you NO is not a force you want to reckon with at 16. If you can love that sweet little one you’ve been entrusted and teach them first time obedience, kindness, respecting authority and that the world does not revolve around them; you are laying the best foundation for their elementary and teenage years!

As a young mom, I was physically exhausted and now I’m just mentally exhausted! I’m no longer teaching my kids how to sit still, not to hit or how to share their toys, the lessons now are all about the heart! I thought I would be really ready for this season of parenting after being youth pastors for 12 years but I’m not sure much can prepare you for the tweens and teens! I’ll never forget a day when my oldest was 10 and I asked her to do something simple like, pick up her clothes. She melted to the floor in tears screaming about the hopelessness of life! Our family has a flare for the dramatics! I couldn’t figure out what had possessed my sweet, agreeable, responsible child so I did the only thing I knew to do, I bought myself some time. I insisted she take a nap because sleeping was all that I could come up with to fix her and save me. She screamed and cried that she was too old for naps but I kept my cool and scratched her back and said… “I know but you are going to feel so much better after!” I’ll be honest I did not want to scratch her, I wanted to slap her but I realized this was not a temper tantrum. Something new was happening in my daughter and I needed to figure out what it was!

As the house grew quiet, I remember asking God…what is going on? I grabbed a book on raising girls by Dr. James Dobson and began to devour it. I read chapter after chapter until I discovered a statement that we have adopted in our home as “ping pong” emotions. Dr. Dobson explained that kids coming into adolescents have so many hormones raging in their body. If they are young women these hormones will eventually settle into a cycle, still real, but not as surprising! But for now, the hormones inside of our tweens and teens are like a ping pong table. They are bouncing around all over the place. When I read this, I realized I can identify with that. Sometimes my hormones are crazy and my husband thinks I’m possessed! I decided that Brooklyn just needed language to explain “all the feels” she was feeling!

I think one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is our time. I had a conversation that day with Brooklyn that I have since had with Avery and we talked about identifying feelings and being brave enough to have conversations about them. Our teenagers need to know that all of the ideas, doubts, hurts, joys and confusion that they have rolling around in their amazing heads of theirs are valid and valuable. They need a safe place to process and know that they are accepted and loved. That takes time! It takes more patience than I normally have. I literally lose my mind with the answer “I don’t know.” However, I’ve learned if I sit long enough and pay attention close enough, I’ll find out what is rolling around in their minds.

A great tip for getting conversations rolling is understanding your child’s “love language.” There are a million resources online for figuring this out! My oldest is a quality time child. I know the conversations probably won’t start until we have spent a significant amount of time together. One day I took her with me to a coffee shop so I could work and she could do homework and after about 30 minutes of sitting there quietly working, she just started talking. It fully interrupted what I needed to get done, but I closed my computer, listened and asked lots of questions. I didn’t offer advice until she asked for it! If you know me at all, you should be impressed!!! My youngest daughter is all about physical touch. If I crawl in her bed to cuddle her at night, she fully opens up her heart! Girls tend to talk a little more than boys but I would encourage you to search for the keys to your young person’s heart and keep doing the work hear what is going on in their head and their world.

All things start with our thoughts before they become actions, so I believe one of our greatest jobs as parents is learning how our kids think and helping them to re-frame their thoughts from a biblical perspective. It involves validating feelings, asking questions and teaching tools. Philippians 4:8 is a scripture worth memorizing in your house.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8

This scripture teaches us that we get to fix our thoughts. We ultimately are the decision makers when it comes to what we choose to think about! I have to be reminded of this as an adult and I assure you this is one of the greatest lessons for your child. Feelings follow focus. I find that when my girls are having “all the feels” I have to help the learn how to refocus. This is parenting to their heart! It is exhausting but so rewarding!

If you find yourself in a season with your teenager and you don’t know exactly what to do, pray for wisdom. James 1 promises us God will give it. Ask God to help you know how to get your child talking and sharing what’s going on inside their head. For some of you, you might need to model this as well because you might be guilty of stuffing your feelings. When they share, listen. When you think you have listened enough, listen more! Ask lot’s of questions. Validate their feelings. Then, help them learn how to reframe all the feels with the word of God. It is one of the greatest tools we can equip them with!

I’m cheering you on! I’ll pray for you and you pray for me! We are in this together!

xoxo Meghan

 

ABOUT MEGHAN ROBINSON

Meghan and her husband Carey pastor The Movement Church in Orange County California! Meghan is a wife, mom to two beautiful girls, church planter, pastor, speaker, friend, and big dreamer! Her greatest passion is helping women identify the God dream inside of them and awaken to their greater purpose! She also loves seeing women in ministry connected, equipped and inspired and is a part of our She Leads team!

 

 

 
April 16, 2019
The Fog

I feel like I am in a fog… a newborn fog that is. Those of you who have endured the dirty diapers, sleepless nights, and spit-up-on-your-freshly-washed-shirt-days get it. The fog is real.

 

My son is almost three years old and my daughter is two months, so I have one in diapers and one learning how to poop in a potty! Two years ago, I helped birth a church in Pasadena, CA, as the Associate Pastor. I am a full-time working mom and it’s time to get honest…

 

MOM GUILT IS REAL.

 

If I leave my kids to go to work, I feel guilty. If I don’t have enough time to finish that one task for work before the day is done, I feel guilty. And Sundays are the hardest. What used to be the most rewarding day out of the week is now the most stressful. My husband and I do music ministry together so that means we get the kids up at the crack of dawn and haul the entire family to church. I call my kids “rehearsal babies” because they are always with us. Lately, I feel as if my head is in two places at once because I am trying to “work” and “mom” at the same time. A few Sundays ago, I had to stop rehearsal so I could feed my infant. Talk about MOM GUILT.

 

But the most beautiful thing about it all? My kids are going to grow up seeing their mom do what she is passionate about, and more importantly what God has called her to. My teams are going to see that taking a break to feed your baby is okay. Family is important and can go hand-in-hand with ministry. My church-planting organization is going to learn for the first time how to come alongside a pregnant pastor on staff by providing maternity leave support.  

 

What if we looked at the term “working mom” differently? What if it didn’t have to be one or the other? What if we learned how to bring our kids, family, co-workers, teams, volunteers into the beauty of it all? Life is messy enough without the added guilt and pressure of being perfect. We are going to make mistakes… trust me, I do all the time… but I am learning to go to God for help. Here are some truths that keep me going:

 

  1. GOD WILL GIVE ME STRENGTH, when I am weary. Isaiah 40:29 “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.”

  2. GOD WILL GIVE ME GRACE, when I make mistakes. 2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

  3. GOD WILL GIVE ME HELP, when I feel alone. Psalm 22:19 “But you, LORD, do not be far from me. You are my strength; come quickly to help me.”

 

So the next time you feel like you are going to fall over from exhaustion or lose your cool with your toddler, know that God has you. Know that you have other women who are rooting you on and that you are not alone in the struggle. Know that this work/home balance thing doesn’t have to be solved overnight. Know that this fog is just a season.

 

One step at a time. You got this, mama.

 

ABOUT ASHLEY BECKFORD

Ashley Beckford is the Associate Pastor at Unite Church in Pasadena, CA, where she leads worship and oversees all creative. She recently founded Unite Collective, a community of musically-gifted artists, worship leaders, musicians and creatives from Unite and its extended family, that strive to create resources for the church. A gifted leader and songwriter, she loves to develop people, especially other women in worship. Ashley is on the She Leads team as the ministry lead to worship and creative leaders. She loves spending time with her family and traveling!

February 18, 2019
The Way I See It

#Bettertogether This is so much more than just a cute hashtag for social media. I really do believe the statement is true! Unfortunately, developing real, authentic relationships that extend beyond surface tends to be where we women struggle the most. I think the problem has very little to do with others and everything to do with us.

Last week my family was driving to church and my husband looked over and said “what in the world, Meghan…how can you even see? Give me your glasses.” I handed them over and remarked…wow it’s much clearer without my glasses! Insert your own laughter here. He said that’s because they are covered in makeup smudges and dirt! OH….that makes so much sense! HA! He proceeded to clean them for me and when I put them back on, I could see so much better! I’m so grateful for a husband who is looking out for me. I need all the help I can get! 

In life and in friendships, often the lenses in which we are viewing others is tainted with our own insecurities and insecure people tend to show off, show down or shrink back. This impaired vision keeps us from developing true, authentic friendships. Friendships where you can vulnerably share your weaknesses and confidently celebrate your strengths! There are 4 types of dirty lenses that I want to challenge you to deal with so you can see clearly and begin to build healthy, amazing friendships! Remember the spots and imperfections that drive you crazy about someone else might not be on their face, it might be on yours! Ouch! So let’s start by cleaning our proverbial glasses, are you ready? 

Judgement, Jealousy, Competition and Comparison

These fierce 4 will rob you of friendships every time. 

Judgement

How many of you are quick to make assumptions and arrive at conclusions? I am raising my hand. So often we operate out of pain from past hurts or experiences and we place people in categories in an attempt to avoid being hurt again or as a means of feeling better about ourselves. 

The Bible actually tells us: Why are you so worried about the speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own. We’ve got to stop ourselves from creating a story about someone else’s motives or character without an actual conversation with them first! You might be surprised what a simple open-minded conversation will reveal. No one likes to be judged and the Bible says “in the same measure you judge others, you will be judged!” I most certainly don’t want that. I need grace with a shovel not just a spoon so I am realizing I need to extend all this grace to others and silence my own assumptions. 

Jealousy

Jealousy is simply wanting something that someone else has. Maybe it’s material…the house, the car, wishing you could travel like they do. Maybe she’s getting married or having a baby and you find yourself still single or unable to conceive and it’s painful. Maybe you see your girl experiencing success in the arenas that you have a desire to be successful and influential and your initial response is, it’s just not fair! Again this reveals our own insecurity and lack of contentment in the space and place God has us in. Confident women who are secure in their own identity and season are able to celebrate others without feeling less themselves. Jealousy will always limit your ability to build authentic friendships…it’s a barricade to any relationship and it can often be the thing that fosters competition.

Competition

Competition says I need to be better than you or prove that I am as good as you! You know some of my very best friends in the world are some girls who are far more “successful” in areas that I am passionate about! Those friendships have developed because I have made a very conscious decision to suffocate jealousy and comparison and to be a champion and cheerleader for my friends!!! This has required a decision. It didn’t start as a feeling. If I had allowed my feelings to lead, I would have become competitive and robbed myself of some amazing friendships. You may feel one way, but you need to make a decision to act another.  We are not competing with one another. We are all on a great big mission that God put us on this earth to accomplish and we need to learn to embrace who God called us to be and cheer others on in the race God has given them to run in! 

The last thing that dirties our lenses is Comparison! This is a big one for us girls! 

Comparison is the root of all inferiority. If you compare yourself to someone else, you will always feel inferior. This inferiority complex will limit your ability to connect authentically and you will find yourself isolating. To avoid the comparison trap, you’ve got to watch what you are feeding yourself. If you are gorging on the endless buffet of social media and comparing someone else’s highlight reel to your lowlight reel, you are going to always feel inferior. Maybe take a break for 30 days and practice celebrating the people around you! Celebrating others and practicing an attitude of gratitude about your life will shift the narrative every time!

We need one another. We really are better together. Godly friendships will add value to your life. They will encourage you, challenge you and remind you who God has called you to be!  

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” Proverbs 27:17 NLT 

We need the sharpening of sweet friendships in our lives but in order to develop those authentic relationships, we will need to clear our proverbial lenses of Judgment, Jealousy, Competitiveness and Comparison. When you clean the lenses…you clearly see the beauty in everyone and this is the friend I imagine you desire to have and the one you want to be! 

ABOUT MEGHAN ROBINSON

Meghan and her husband Carey pastor The Movement Church in Orange County California! Meghan is a wife, mom to two beautiful girls, church planter, pastor, speaker, friend, and big dreamer! Her greatest passion is helping women identify the God dream inside of them and awaken to their greater purpose! She also loves seeing women in ministry connected, equipped and inspired and is a part of our She Leads team!

January 28, 2019
How Do You Handle Conflict?

 

ABOUT HOLLY WAGNER

Holly and her husband, Philip, are the Pastors of Oasis Church – a growing, relevant, multi-cultural, church located in Los Angeles. They have been married for over 30 years, love life and enjoy spending time with their two adult children, Jordan and Paris. Holly is passionate about seeing women become who God has designed them to become, and to see every generation of woman extend a helping hand to the generation that is younger. Through the women’s ministry of Oasis, She Rises (GodChicks), she has empowered thousands of women around the world. Holly has written several books including Find Your Brave, WarriorChicks, Love Works, and Awakened.

 

December 17, 2018
Help! 2018 is Broken!

Guys, it’s almost Christmas. What. The Heck. If you need me over the next few weeks, I’ll be somewhere watching Elf… And probably answering my phone, “Elyse the Elf here, what’s your favorite color?” You think I’m joking.

Seriously though, it is almost 2019. TWENTY. NINE. TEEN.

Isn’t it crazy how much life can change in one year? The moments that we wish we could revisit. The memories that we wish we could erase. The things we wish we could have said. The things we wish we never said. The fights we had. The friends we made. The people we said goodbye to. The hopes deferred. The dreams fulfilled. And the perspective we gained in the process.

And it all started with a countdown full of hope, dreams and sparkling drinks.

Maybe 2018 has been the best year of your life. If so, more power to you girlfriend. Perhaps you found your person, held their hand and felt all the feels. Or you finally decided that nobody lets your dream sit in the corner, and you did something about it. Or you went on the type of trip that Instagram was created for, and everyone double tapped the heck out of your photos.

Maybe you were the Beyoncé of this year. And if so, can you tell me how you did it? (And then can you teach me the Single Ladies dance??)

But seriously, if this has been a great year, please… Reflect. And keep reflecting. Find the person who encouraged the pants off you this year (not literally, unless you’re married, then hey-yo!). Write them a card. Send them a text. Buy them a coffee. Say thank you. Don’t let thanksgiving stop with turkey and sweet potato. Please, always say thank you.

But perhaps this wasn’t your year. Maybe you seriously considered turning in your adult card, burning all your grown-up clothes, and updating your resume to “professional Netflix-er.”

Sometimes, despite our prettiest mood boards and proudest mantras, life just pulls out some plot twists.

Maybe this year, life hit you with jabs and swings and kicks so intense, it landed you the ground. Perhaps your anxiety became claustrophobic and loneliness felt like it would be your legacy.

Maybe this year your tears became the ache you couldn’t articulate. I have been there friend. I have so been there.

In fact, this time last year I was there. Facing a new year with a broken promise and a hurting heart. I didn’t want to celebrate anything, let alone the year that had just gone! But I remember sitting on my patio in Australia reading my bible. This verse stopped me in my tracks. It was in the book of Jude. When I read it I felt that gentle but familiar whisper from Heaven. He said, “this is your verse for 2018. I’ve got you. You don’t have to celebrate what is behind you, but I want you to smile and what I am bringing you.”

So today, I want you to hear that whisper as you read this verse… The verse I read that day.

Jude 1:2 (The Message) says, “Relax, everything’s going to be alright; rest, everything’s coming together; open your hearts, love is on the way!”

Don’t quit. Don’t give up on this year. It’s not over yet.

I’ve had moments this year where I wanted to get out of the boxing ring. I’ve had to learn how to keep punching even though I was tired, injured and exhausted. This has been my biggest year, my best year, and my most brutal year.

I’ve learned opening new doors requires more energy than occupying old rooms… And I’ve learned that the best years come out of the most broken places.

And I pray you will let those lessons speak to your heart today. After all, God didn’t bring us this far to see us defeated. I think it’s in His whisper to go one more round that our future is found.

So don’t wave that flag, not yet. You still have fight in you. I know you do. And I just wanted to remind you that it’s not over until that countdown gets to 1, until the fireworks begin to crack, and until those text messages roll in.

We have two weeks left of 2018. Let’s make it the most wonderful time of the year. And as for next year? Bring. It. On.

Hebrews 10:39 (MSG) But we’re not quitters who lose out. Oh, no! We’ll stay with it and survive, trusting all the way.

ABOUT ELYSE MURPHY
Elyse Murphy is a writer, pastor, and international speaker. She is driven by her passion for Jesus, the local church and Sephora makeup. Elyse is ministering to people with her message of grace founded in Jesus and her honest stories about life and its lessons.

Having grown up as a pastor’s kid in Sydney, Australia, Elyse graduated from Hillsong Leadership College, and has been a pastor working with young people and young leaders ever since. She has ministered globally in both church and secular settings, inspiring people in their life and challenging them in their faith.

Her experiences of life growing up as a PK led Elyse to write her first book “Confessions of a Church Kid.” Her book is a memoir of the good, bad and ugly of growing up with parents in ministry and all that it entails. Elyse has a Youtube channel and regularly blogs for Propel Women, She Rises, Assemblies of God and others.

These days Elyse calls Los Angeles home, working with young adults and leaders, and ministering as one of the executive pastors at Oasis Church in  Los Angeles.

November 19, 2018
Fun Ways To Say, “Grateful for You, Friend!”
Thanksgiving is this week!!! Do you have your turkey recipe ready or did you opt to order your bird? 😉  I am grateful for many things in my life including my family, coffee, Jesus, my church and my FRIENDS (not necessarily in that order). This week, I’d like to pose a challenge to you to take some time and plan how you can show your friends that you are grateful for them.
  1.  Make a “Why My Friend Is So Awesome” List and leave it in her purse for her to find in the middle of the day.

    Reasons Why Kathy Is Awesome:

  • She loves Star Wars movies.
  • She is a great listener
  • She mixes M&M’s with her popcorn
  • She is a great daughter to her parents
  • She knows the whole theme song to “FRIENDS”
  • She is super smart!
  • Her genuine faith in Jesus inspires everyone around her
  • She has the best laugh
  • She has a secret crush on Hugh Jackman
  • She always knows what to say to cover awkward moments
  1.  Watch her favorite movie with her (for the 100th time) after she’s had a long day. Bonus points if you bring her favorite dessert to share!
  2.  Give her a ride to the airport, even if it’s at 4 a.m.! Yikes!
  3.  Offer to plan her birthday party with a theme that’s totally her!
  4.  Surprise her at work with her favorite ice cream.
  5.  Drop off some saltines, ginger ale, chicken soup, and your copy of The Proposal at her place when she is stuck at home with the flu.
  6.  Help her with things that come easily to you but are torture for her. . .: redecorating a room, creating a spreadsheet, buying the perfect black dress.  . . .
  7.  Listen to her vent over the phone about her hard day, and offer her encouragement and prayer!

 

ABOUT HOLLY WAGNER

Holly and her husband, Philip, are the Pastors of Oasis Church – a growing, relevant, multi-cultural, church located in Los Angeles. They have been married for over 30 years, love life and enjoy spending time with their two adult children, Jordan and Paris. Holly is passionate about seeing women become who God has designed them to become, and to see every generation of woman extend a helping hand to the generation that is younger. Through the women’s ministry of Oasis, She Rises (GodChicks), she has empowered thousands of women around the world. Holly has written several books including Find Your Brave, WarriorChicks, Love Works, and Awakened.

June 11, 2018
Make Peace, Don’t Just Keep It

It used to be that when someone started out talking about peace, I relaxed a little. I’d consider my efforts to try not to be a dramatic person, and how I value harmony and everyone getting along. So peace and I, we see eye-to-eye. “Blessed are those who keep the peace…”? Check! I’m all about that conflict-avoidance life.

You can imagine my surprise when I actually read Matthew 5:9, which says, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” I had to hear someone clearly distinguish the difference between being peacemakers and being peacekeepers before I realized how far off I had been in my misplaced confidence.

It’s like Sarah Bessey says, “Oh, man, if only ‘going along with what is easy’ was a spiritual gift. I’d be the holiest woman in the room.”

Turns out, I tend to be good at keeping the peace, not stepping on toes, that kind of thing. Not so much the holy and glorious task that Jesus commends us into, which is being people who create and facilitate peace through telling the truth and making hard decisions.

Bob Goff says it this way, “What I’ve come to learn so far about my faith is Jesus never asked anyone to play it safe. We were born to be brave. There’s a difference between playing it safe and being safe…If our life and our identity are found in Jesus, I think we can redefine safe as staying close to Him.”

Making peace, this way, is a task that requires facing and navigating conflict, pursuing wisdom, and speaking the truth in love. All concepts that sound much prettier in words than they feel in action. It requires knowing the truth from God and internalizing it so much that it starts to pour out of us in word and deed. The ultimate result of this is reconciliation and redemption in us and the people around us.

This peace doesn’t remind others of conflict-avoidance and sweeping things under the rug. Instead, it looks like mature conversations, keeping your cool in emotional situations, and countless numbers of genuine apologies issued. It requires taking a time-out when needed, asking deep questions, and believing the best in others when it would be easier and less time-consuming to make reactive assumptions.

I have a note on my phone that I’ve paused to look at way too many times to count, and it’s titled “Offended? Freaking out?” It’s specifically for those moments when it would be easier to avoid or react without wisdom and without truly taking the time to try and create peace. Here’s what it says:

“A person’s insight gives her patience, and her virtue is to overlook an offense.” (Proverbs 19:11)
“I can either be easily offended or deeply loving but not both!” (Tom Hughes)

First, take some deep breaths. Then ask these questions:

  • What’s really going on?
  • What am I feeling?
  • Is my reaction in proportion to what actually happened? If not, who do those emotional reactivity points actually belong to? 

Then, take a moment to vent in myself, to God. alone. “I am not a victim to my emotions or to any person’s actions or feelings. I choose how to respond out of God’s power, strength, and unconditional love for me.” Only then can I respond appropriately, acknowledge disproportionate levels of emotion, apologize, and seek reconciliation.

“Since Jesus went through everything you’re going through and more, learn to think like him. Think of your sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way. Then you’ll be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want.” (1 Peter 4:1-2)

You’d think I’d have it memorized by now, but I need these reminders so often.

I need the reminder that I am called to be a peacemaker, and that means not idolizing conflict as being more powerful than the task of seeking peace.

I need the reminder that peace never happens by accident, because it is the result of connection, not simply a lack of conflict.

The reminder that my feelings are not the truth or reality of any situation, simply indicators of my commitment to and involvement in it, and that I have the choice to seek something more than just a feeling.

And the ultimate reminder that God is a God who brings peace through love and sacrifice, not cowardice or fear.

This is always worth seeking, I just needed the reminder.

 

ABOUT SARAH ROSE LOCHELT

Sarah Rose Lochelt is a Southern-California native who is passionate about the power of communication and the connection that happens through conversation, especially when there is coffee involved. She is a pastor in the LA area and loves to write and speak about the lies of shame, the truth of grace, and the freedom that comes from relating authentically to one another, especially for women in the church. She always has at least one book to read in her purse, is infamous for making silly faces at babies in public, and could live on pizza for every meal.

March 28, 2018
Countdown to Easter

March has literally flown by in wind gusts and rainstorms. It seems this year is getting away from us, and as we barrel toward Easter Weekend, this fast pace is catching up with me! In ministry, as in life, I find myself needing to take time to catch my breath. In my role as Children’s Pastor to 300 kids and families, I find that if I don’t stop and catch my breath, I will get bowled over, stressed out, and physically sick. And that is certainly not how I want to step into the most important time of the year, when we get to celebrate the whole reason we are followers of Jesus…and when we potentially see more people coming to church than any other Sunday for the rest of the year.

So, what should you do when life seems to be constantly busy and you need a minute?

Point your eyes on Jesus. Of course!

Matthew 14:23 says, “After He had sent the crowds away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray; and when it was evening, He was there alone.”

Jesus did the work that He needed to do and then He secluded Himself and prayed. Jesus didn’t just pray a quick 5-minute prayer in the midst of His To Do List. The scripture says He went up on the mountain to pray and He was still there alone well into the evening.

Many times in Jesus’ time on earth, He could be found seeking God in prayer, alone.

Mark 1:35 says, “In the early morning, He got up, left the house, and went away to a secluded place, and was praying there.”

Luke 5:16 says, “But Jesus himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray.”

The thing I love is that no matter what part of the day, no matter how busy His schedule was, Jesus took time away, alone, to pray. This really challenges me, because as much as I spend time in prayer with God, I have to stop and think about time I seclude myself and pray. Where is my private mountain? Where is my secluded place?

To be honest, sometimes it is in my car, either parked in my garage or surrounded by standstill traffic on the 101. Or sometimes it is at my kitchen sink or in the bathtub. More times than not, as a Pastor, I find myself praying over the phone, in coffee shops, in people’s homes and hospital rooms, over baby cribs, and with other people. All of those things are not bad – praying with people and spending time with God is a good thing. But for the rest of the month, I’m going to take a lesson from Jesus and seclude myself to pray. I want to sit in the quiet and approach God alone. This way, I can continue to do the things He has asked me to do. I can rely on His strength and not my own. I can celebrate His death and resurrection in awe and wonder without rushing or stress.

I believe that deepening my alone time with God in prayer will reveal the greater purposes of my life here on earth. And that through this relationship with Him, I will come to know Him more intimately and begin to understand all that awaits in Heaven.

I challenge you to find secluded time to pray. I encourage you to be still and quiet, and listen for His voice. Easter preparations can wait. God wants us to honor Him and we can’t do that in the hustle and bustle of life. We have to stop sometimes and wait. Don’t just do something, stand there. Be with God.

Won’t you join me?

ABOUT LORI ANN PISCIONERI

Born in Texas and raised in Louisiana, Lori Ann Piscioneri has the pleasure to serve as the Kids Pastor at Oasis Church in Los Angeles, located in the middle of the most populated part of the city – Koreatown.  Oasis is a culturally diverse church with contemporary services and relevant teaching for people of all ages.  Having grown up in church, Lori Ann was first drawn to serve in Kids ministry at Oasis in 2010, and became Kids Pastor in 2013.  She is a professional opera singer and voice teacher and believes God placed her in Kids to help them build their faith and discover their gifts and talents.  Lori Ann and her husband Mike “Pish” serve together, building up disciples for Christ not only in Kids but as Connect Group Leaders and mentors for young adults and couples in Los Angeles.  They write, produce, and perform in exciting and creative curriculum for Kids ages 2 – 12.

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