She Lives – She Rises

February 28, 2018

Blended Love

Growing up I was pretty sure that I knew everything about love…I mean, after all, what teenage girl doesn’t know EVERYTHING about love right? I grew up with parents who were married and loved each other well. In my house, words of affirmation and PDA were ever flowing. My parents had two kids, my brother Jordan and myself, and we constantly felt loved, secure, safe, and wanted. Ever since I was little girl I imagined having a family like the one I grew up in…I would marry a man as loving as my dad. Then this “perfect” man and I would have “perfect” kids and live happily ever after, end of story. Easy peasy right?

Well, as great as my imaginary family was, God had different plans for me. In November 2016 I married a man who was practically perfect, and this amazing man had two beautiful daughters from a previous marriage. When I looked him in the face on our wedding day and promised forever, I had no idea that I would be entering into the most challenging, yet most rewarding season of life I ever imagined… stepmother hood. Now, after a year and half of marriage and being 9 months pregnant with our first child together, I look back at that teenage girl who had it all figured out, and I laugh.

Being in a blended family is definitely not for the faint of heart… or those without a good sense of humor. I have learned more about love this year and half than I ever have before. There is a verse in the Bible that many of us have heard countless times, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, “ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Now this all sounds really great… until YOU are the one that has to love someone this selflessly. And although I’d like to say I’m good at it…lets not get carried away…I think it’s more fair to say it’s a work in progress at best.

Loving a child can be a fairly easy thing to do for anyone, what’s difficult is loving children that aren’t yours, but they are yours at the same time… and mothering children who have a mother, although you are still their mother, but you’re also not their mother, yet you still need to parent and mother them, and tone it down when their mother is there, but not too much so you don’t lose their respect. Confused yet? Me too. This has been the dance for me and it’s not an easy one. Trusting and leaning on God has never been more important.

Now for the hardest part…. Loving my stepdaughters’ mother. Did I really just say that? Yes…. yes I did. Not just tolerate, not just communicate with, but LOVE her. To love her like Jesus asks us to love means that I ‘hold no record of wrongs’…wait what?! It also means that I persevere through the hardest of times, not just for her sake or mine, but also for the kids and my husband as well. Can you truly love someone that hurt the person you love the most? Let me tell you, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and sometime I fall short…or maybe a lot of times…but hey, it’s a work in progress. Love is an action, not a feeling, so to truly love her and the blended family that I am in, means that I have to forgive her every morning, first thing. It means that my human desire to be right can’t outweigh the desire for peace and to love and forgive.

For the record, my stepdaughters’ mother and I get along well for the most part, and I am sure there are things that I do that really bother her also, but like I said, it’s a dance. It’s learning to pick your battles, learning to forgive, and loving even when it’s difficult. I love my blended family… it’s no fairytale, but it’s a love story of the truest kind… what I call, a beautiful mess.

ABOUT PARIS WAGNER MURPHY

Paris Murphy is a Los Angeles native, daughter to Pastors Philip and Holly Wagner, and CEO and Founder of City of Lights International; a non-profit organization dedicated to providing emergency care to orphaned and vulnerable children in Uganda. Paris is married to David, stepmother to two little girls and is expecting her first baby, a daughter, Justice Reign, any day now. Graduating from California State University Northridge, Paris has a degree in Social Welfare, with emphasis in Child Development and International Relations. She is passionate about seeing vulnerable children getting the love, care and education they deserve. She really enjoys writing and speaking and hopes to encourage people through her life experiences..

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February 19, 2018

February: The Month of LOVE

I can’t believe it’s February! Of course, when I think of February, I think of Valentine’s Day (thanks, Hallmark!). It is a day of celebrating love, relationships, and all things red and pink. For some, it is a holiday filled with roses, chocolates, and romantic dates, but for others, it is a day full of anxiety and past hurts.

Many people go into a cave in February, only to crawl out again in March, when Spring in on the horizon. This dread and avoidance mentality is quite the opposite of the celebration of love that Valentine’s Day promotes.

So, how do we change that? How do we promote celebrating love in a healthy way, so it is not just one, single holiday but a daily life choice?

Disclaimer: I’m not promoting the commercialism of Valentine’s Day, by any means, but instead, looking at the holiday as an opportunity to find freedom from the past and move forward in positive affirmations and expressions of love.

1 John 3:18-20 says, “Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God. Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings and He knows everything.” NLT

This verse is full of action steps, so, here we go:

4 Ways to Love Again

1. More than words: We all know those 3 words “I love you” carry a ton of weight, so when we say those words, we’d better mean them.

Too often, those 3 words are tossed around without realizing the weight. Instead of only saying “I love you” continue the thought and include “I love you when you call me on the phone and actually talk to me instead of just texting” or “I love you because you are thoughtful and heartfelt in how you spend time with our baby” or “I love you even though we had a disagreement about taking out the trash.”

When we qualify the statement, it brings the weight and meaning to the surface and then the next time you say a quick “Love you!” to your husband, as you head off to work one morning, there is more attachment to it than only the words.

2. Truth in action: When we put weight into our words, this leads to action. Following up encouraging words with action is a lot more meaningful than the words themselves.

My love language is acts of service, so I am quick to show love to my husband by doing the dishes or going grocery shopping for the week. His love language is quality time, so while he loves to just talk and hang out together, I get antsy and want to be doing something. So we find our actionable truth in expressing love to one another by incorporating both things. We’ll go grocery shopping together and have meaningful conversation while sitting in LA traffic.

No matter what your love language is, the more you put it into action, the more truth you will find in expressing your love for one another.

3. Confidence in God: When we choose to follow Jesus and experience a loving relationship with Him, we can be confident that our past is over and we are forgiven and redeemed in the life He has for us. The more we study the truth of what God says about us – we are His children designed to honor and glorify Him – and put that truth in action, the more our love is evident in our everyday lives.

He forgives us when we mess up, so let’s be truly repentant and make daily choices to reflect His love back to Him and out towards others.

This means we can brighten someone’s day with a simple card that includes encouraging words, or give a smile to someone who needs a little cheering up. God will work in those moments, and He will get the glory.

4. God is love! He is bigger than our feelings and knows what is best for us at all times! So let’s relish in that! Instead of dreading February, let’s remember that Christ died for us because He loves us and it is only right to reciprocate that love to others, no matter how we feel.

Pray that God will give you a heavenly perspective that is full of His grace. Pray that when you hear “I love you” the next time, you receive its fullest intention and can return that same love in truth and confidence.

May you experience the love and peace of Christ in every area of your life.

ABOUT LORI ANN PISCIONERI

Born in Texas and raised in Louisiana, Lori Ann Piscioneri has the pleasure to serve as the Kids Pastor at Oasis Church in Los Angeles, located in the middle of the most populated part of the city – Koreatown. Oasis is a culturally diverse church with contemporary services and relevant teaching for people of all ages. Having grown up in church, Lori Ann was first drawn to serve in Kids ministry at Oasis in 2010, and became Kids Pastor in 2013. She is a professional opera singer and voice teacher and believes God placed her in Kids to help them build their faith and discover their gifts and talents. Lori Ann and her husband Mike “Pish” serve together, building up disciples for Christ not only in Kids but as Connect Group Leaders and mentors for young adults and couples in Los Angeles. They write, produce, and perform in exciting and creative curriculum for Kids ages 2 – 12.

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February 14, 2018

10 Ways to Love Your Husband

Be kind.
Most of the time, we are kinder and more polite to strangers and acquaintances than we are to our spouses. It should not be that way, but often it is. Little acts of kindness can go a long way towards creating intimacy.

Demonstrate respect.
You are not his mother, so don’t talk down to him or nag him. Interrupting him communicates disrespect (at at least, that is what Philip tells me!). So, let him finish his sentences . . . no matter how good you think your ending will would be!

Get some sexy lingerie.
Enough said, really.

Occasionally be the sexual aggressor.
He likes/needs to feel that you want him. Don’t just be the passive one. Mix it up!

Go with him to a game/sporting event.
He really does want your company. It is not about whether or not you like sports —just doing something with him shows your love. (But you are a smart woman, so surely you can learn a thing or two about the sport while you’re at it!)

Kiss him.
I’m not talking about the quick “don’t mess up my lipstick” kiss, but the “stop and grab his face” kiss. Even if you don’t have time for it to lead anywhere 🙂 . . . kissing is such a great connector!
Listen without interrupting.
Yes, I know this one is hard . . .
Encourage him.
Say something encouraging to him. He probably hears negativity all day long from others. What can you say that would be encouraging? What has he done well? Be his biggest cheerleader!!
Say nice things about him in front of others.
This is huge . . . and communicates love in a whole other way.
Show support for his dreams.
Come alongside him and support him. Life has a way of deflating our dreams. Let him know that you are with him and believe in him.

ABOUT HOLLY WAGNER

Holly and her husband, Philip, are the Pastors of Oasis Church – a growing, relevant, multi-cultural, church located in Los Angeles. They have been married for over 30 years, love life and enjoy spending time with their two adult children, Jordan and Paris. Holly is passionate about seeing women become who God has designed them to become, and to see every generation of woman extend a helping hand to the generation that is younger. Through the women’s ministry of Oasis, She Rises (GodChicks), she has empowered thousands of women around the world. Holly has written several books including Find Your Brave, WarriorChicks, Love Works, and Awakened.

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December 20, 2017

Grateful For Growth

“It’s not the one who plants or the one who waters who is at the center of this process, but God, who makes things grow.” (1 Corinthians 3:7 MSG)

In this season, gratitude lists abound, and for good reason. When I stop to take the time to consider what I feel truly and desperately grateful for, even beyond the material blessings of the day-to-day, I return again and again to that verse in Corinthians 3 that tells me that I am not in charge of my own growth; God is. And for that I am profoundly thankful.

I am not in charge of my own growth. God is.
I am not in charge of my own healing. God is.
I am not in charge of my own refining. God is.

I don’t have the power to mature or fix myself, any more than a doctor has the power to lay down on an operating table and do surgery on herself.

All I can do is submit myself to the master of transformation Himself, and let Him do His work.

This is where I find myself the most thankful in this season – in the reminder that I am not in charge.

And when my “work-harder-hustle-more” tendencies get triggered, and I find myself battling the vulnerability of being messy and in-process, I have to remind myself of some truths about what is in my control and what is not.

No matter how hard I try, I can NOT control these things…

I cannot control the speed of my healing. I would choose to snap my fingers and be all fixed-up, and that has not yet happened in my almost-30-years of life on this earth. My favorite song on my yoga teacher’s playlist reminds me each week that “You can’t rush your healing.” As much as I wish I could.
I cannot control the visibility of my healing. I would say that the most difficult and painful part of my closest relationships is when my flaws, sins, and shortcomings are shown in front of others. I’d be happy to keep everything wrong with me hidden from the world. (#perfectionism) I shrink in shame when my sins overflow onto those around me, and my need for healing is exposed. It can’t be healed without first being exposed, and I hate that part.
I cannot control the extent of my healing. Again, I wish healing and growth were complete, instantaneous, and miraculous, but one beautiful and difficult thing I’m learning about the Lord is that He is more concerned with who I become in my time on this earth than He is about my comfort level. God works at His level, and it is always different and better than what I would have planned.

Once I have (attempted) to strip those untruths away, I come back to the things I CAN control…

I can control my attitude in the process of my healing. In fact, psychologists have coined the phrase “post-traumatic growth” to reflect the phenomenon of how much challenge can be the catalyst for transformation, depending on the perspective we have of it. It takes so little to shift my attitude in the midst of growth and change, but I avoid it so naturally, because it takes maturity and work.
I can control the loneliness of my healing. As Brene Brown reminds us, “shame flourishes with silence, secrecy, and judgment.” I can choose to share my pains, my struggles, and my shortcomings with my community, and in that way, keep shame from taking hold and convincing me that I’m in this alone, which is not the truth, no matter how unique my struggles might feel.
I can control who takes the credit for my healing. I know that God doesn’t need the credit, but as much I try to steal that credit so that I can meet my own need for productivity and control, I am in the wrong. I know who is in charge of fixing me, and any attempt to take that is stealing. I want to pat myself on the back and act like some part of the growth that takes place in me can be credited to my account.

I truly do want to grow into the woman, the leader, the wife, the servant, that God has created me to be. Yet, I so often get caught up in the vast chasm between who I am today and that person that I will hopefully be someday, and I get impatient for that transformation. What’s dangerous is when I start to project that impatience onto God.

Shauna Niequist writes these words in her book “Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life”, speaking from God’s heart to hers, (and mine, as well). He says, “I didn’t ask you to become new and improved today. That wasn’t the goal. You were broken down and strange yesterday, and you still are today, and the only one freaked out about it is you.”

If love is patient and kind, and God is love embodied, then He is by nature patient and kind, and does not struggle with my impatience for growth, and for that I am profoundly grateful.

ABOUT SARAH ROSE LOCHELT

Sarah Rose Lochelt is a Southern-California native who is passionate about the power of communication and the connection that happens through conversation, especially when there is coffee involved. She is a pastor in the LA area and loves to write and speak about the lies of shame, the truth of grace, and the freedom that comes from relating authentically to one another, especially for women in the church. She always has at least one book to read in her purse, is infamous for making silly faces at babies in public, and could live on pizza for every meal.

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December 13, 2017

Home for the Holidays?!

Some of you love the thought of Christmas approaching. Like me, maybe you delight in the anticipation, the shopping, the meals, the lights, the snow (well, not here in LA!) and hanging out with friends and family. And others of you dread the whole season, wishing the calendar would quickly turn from the day before Thanksgiving to January 2. Most of our feelings of about Christmas come from our memories of childhood Christmases.
Here’s the thing.
You are not a child anymore. If you have great memories of Christmas, it is because someone made your Christmas great. And now you are the grown up. It is your turn to make Christmas great for someone else.
If you have painful holiday memories, then it is now your chance to create new ones.
Be careful about getting sentimental.
Be careful about wasting time wishing your memories were different.
Going to visit your family during for Christmas can be a good thing . . . and it can be a painful time.
If going to see your family only brings you pain . . . why go? If you keep hoping that your dad won’t get drunk this time, or your mom won’t constantly berate you, then maybe you should stay away. Or at least keep your visit brief.
As a grown up, you get to make your own family traditions.
If you are married, you have a new family . . . and you get to create your own holiday memories.

Six Holiday Traditions to Consider

Attend a candlelight service. ( My favorite thing!)
Have a special Christmas breakfast. (Ours involves Cinnabons!)
Read the story of Jesus’ birth before you open gifts. (After all, it is the reason we celebrate!)
Invite friends to Christmas dinner. (Life is always better with friends!)
Go see a movie Christmas night. (C’mon…the new Star Wars is out!!)
Purchase Christmas gifts for a family who is struggling. Surprise them! (We love doing this!)

Just some simple way to create your own traditions. Let’s make this the most wonderful time of the year!

ABOUT HOLLY WAGNER

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December 6, 2017

Generosity

God’s desire from the very beginning is to live with us, to walk with us, to be amongst us. Sin separated us from God, but sin would not have the final say.

John 3:16
For God so loved the world that He gave…

Our brokenness, our sin, the darkness in our hearts was not able to convince God the Father that we are unworthy of His love and of a relationship with Him.

Romans 5:8 (NLT)
But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.

God sends, God gives, God the Father sacrifices His only son in order to create a path that would extend the light of His love to pierce the darkness of our hearts.

Matthew 1:23 (NLT)
Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel, which means God is with us.

The very name given to the Son, Immanuel, echoes the truth of God’s heart toward humanity. God’s generosity was neither easy, nor was it comfortable. The Son’s generosity in laying down His life would require sacrifice and pain, and it is through this gift from heaven that we are able to receive all that comes with being in a relationship with Jesus. It is His presence in our lives that makes us rich as He continues to be generous in love, grace and mercy.

If we are to reflect the heart of the Father, what does generosity look like for you and me? A life of generosity says, I am eternally indebted to offer the hope and freedom I so undeservedly received. Gratitude moves our hearts in the direction of generosity. It isn’t always easy to live generously in a culture that is self indulgent. We are constantly bombarded with opportunities to satisfy our needs, our egos and opportunities for “Likes” on social media.

The Zapatista women in Chiapas believed that it was their responsibility to provide protection, education and rights for their generation and future generations. It would require, blood, sweat and tears, but they would not relent. Because of these women the Zapatista Army established Women’s Revolutionary Laws. These laws granted rights to women regarding work, marriage, health, education, children, political and military participation, and it protected the women from violence. Now there’s a squad you want to belong to.

See, when you realize that your actions can actually impact the quality of life for an entire generation, then there’s no excuse that is big enough or valid enough to keep us with our arms crossed and our hands closed.

So how can we shift from being ME centered to generously sharing our time, talent and treasure? Well, I’d suggest you get in the company of those who are generous with their lives. Luke 1 tells us the story of Mary visiting Elizabeth. Both of these women were pregnant and both had responded with a yes to God. Talk about being generous with your entire being, carrying a baby that would prepare the way and offer salvation to everyone. Sometimes you just need to make the time to be around women who have discovered the joy of giving, of laying down their own will and lives. These are women who much like Mary and Elizabeth thrive on seeing people freed and transformed as a result of their obedience.

There are some incredible movements, like the Zapatista Women, throughout planet earth that are impacting our world in beautiful ways. As a matter of fact I just founded a non-profit called Brave Global, and we are creatively connecting girls in foster care to the local church. I am thrilled about this and I am finding ways to be generous with my time, talent and treasure. All of this to say, there is not one organization, nonprofit or movement that can do what the Bride of Christ is doing in our world. The number one place to display our generosity for serving, giving and expanding is the local church. There’s nothing that God is more passionate about than the church. So this last month of 2017, I encourage you live generously in the house of God and make a personal commitment that goes beyond a New Year’s resolution, to walk closely with Jesus, to listen closely to his invitations to participate in giving and enjoy the company of The Creator, who so lovingly gave heaven’s treasure to be in relationship with you. We could never outgive God.

ABOUT NOEMI CHAVEZ

Noemi Chavez pastors at 7th Street Church in Long Beach, CA. She is an international speaker and is the founder of Brave Global, a catalytic event that connects girls that are in probation and the foster care system with the local church. Noemi also serves on various boards, some of which include Student Outreach Board at Biola University and The Imagine Foundation. Noemi is committed to raising leaders and uniting generations to serve the future of the Church and their communities.

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November 29, 2017

Your Thankless Service

As ministry leaders, we are constantly in the limelight. Our service is often very public, receiving praise and acknowledgement from those around us. Every week, everyone sees what we do. They see the way we lead our teams. They see us cast vision and implement systems. They know we hold significant leadership positions in the church. Sure, they may not fully understand what it looks like to wake up when it’s still dark on a Sunday morning to get to church with a smile on our face. But they know who we are and that we serve our church.

I was struck by this as I led worship at a church about month ago. The service wrapped up and the pastor ascended the platform to dismiss the congregation. He thanked me publicly as the worship leader and the congregation clapped in response. Everyone was dismissed and I gathered my guitar, cables, pedals, etc., checked to make sure the stage was cleared, and began to walk out the door. I turned and nearly bumped into the person gathering used communion cups. There was a team of 5 people breaking down chairs and setting up tables for an upcoming event. The crew in foyer were cleaning dirty coffee pots and the nursery team (who had been their equally as long as me) sat on the floor scrubbing toys with disinfectant. Every one of these people worked incredibly hard and sacrificially, but none of them received a public thank you.

It made me think: where am I serving “thanklessly” in my life right now? As a worship leader, it’s sometimes easy to think that because my job is service-oriented and at church, I’m excused from finding other areas to serve. However, God calls us to humble ourselves and to serve in the shadows. Though we may not receive a thank you on the other side, we are refined through the process.

The greatest among you will be your servant. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” – Matthew 23:11-12

Jesus had a very public ministry on earth. He fed the five thousand, performed jaw-dropping miracles, and shared the gospel from a platform that brought thousands to hear what he had to say. Yet, at the same time, He was humble. He met the woman at the well and heard her story. He washed the disciples feet. He befriended and dined with those everyone else hated. He humbled himself and gave the ultimate sacrifice as he hung upon the cross.

For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” – Mark 10:45

As women who have been called to lead, I wonder: how can we imitate Christ’s humility by finding places to serve and love on people in anonymous, “thankless” ways? Maybe you need to find an outlet for service outside of your church, where people don’t know you. Or, perhaps you need to use the platform you’ve been given at your church to mentor one of the younger girls who looks up to you. Perhaps you are a mom and your thankless service is changing a million diapers a day and making nightly dinners. Whatever that humble service is for you, know that God is glorified through the works of your hands.

How do you find ways to serve, outside of your primary ministry role?

LINZY WESTMAN

Linzy is a singer/songwriter and worship leader in the San Francisco Bay Area. She leads worship at various churches, conferences, and retreats around the country and is passionate about creating music that helps people connect with the heart of God. Linzy desperately wants to see God’s name lifted high in this hurting world and to help others recognize that it is because of Him we can fight for joy and healing. Her solo EP, Here in the Waiting, was released in July of 2015, shortly following her single entitled “I Surrender All to Thee.” When she’s not doing ministry, you will find her hiking, drinking coffee, or exploring new places with her hubby Dan and their sidekick (son) Peyton.

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November 22, 2017

She Is Grateful

Have you ever shared an experience with someone, and then discovered that they remember it completely differently than you?

My husband and I frequently – and often to each other’s amazement – recall the details of events with significant variation. We find ourselves laughing, astonished that we’re living such different realities!

I’m reminded in those moments, that perspective is shaping our stories.

My perspective can move me from frustration to freedom, from self-pity to victory… even when nothing around me has changed! So many times I’ve felt aggravated by a “first-world problem” – until I remember that most of the world is dreaming of having my problems.

Perspective is one of the biggest deciding factors of our contentment and happiness. It’s what helps us “let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts” (Colossians 3:15).

So, how do we make sure we’re seeing life from the best perspective? Check out this amazing quote from Christine Caine:

“The world tells us to focus on what we do not have, who we are not, and where we have not yet arrived; but I have found that if we are simply grateful for all we do have… all of the “are nots” in our lives fade into insignificance.”

Did you catch that? She says that simply being grateful can shift our perspective on life dramatically. And in my experience, God has shown me over and over again that it’s true.

Let’s make it our aim to cultivate gratitude on the daily. If we water seeds of thankfulness in our hearts, its fruit will likely grow to overtake our discontent.

Here are three ways we can increase gratitude in our lives:

Cherish the Word of God

Romans 12 tells us we can be transformed if our minds are renewed. 1 Corinthians 2 lets us know that we now have the mind of Christ. Psalm 119 suggests that if we walk on a path of obedience to God’s Word, we’ll discover delight.

Neuroscience Researcher Dr. Carolyn Leaf tells us: “Thinking and consciously controlling your thought life is one of the best ways, if not the best way, of detoxing your brain. … Consciously controlling your thought life means not letting thoughts rampage through your mind. It means learning to engage interactively with every single thought that you have, and to analyze it before you decide either to accept or reject it.”

To me, that sounds a lot like “taking every thought captive” (2 Corinthians 10)!

Only when we’re studying the Word of God and applying it to our lives, can we have a right and grateful perspective. So many messages bombard us every day. We NEED the Bible to shape and guide us, or all those other messages are going to vie for influence on our point of view. The Word of God is so freeing, so alive, and so beautiful; let’s dive in daily to its depths, and let God shape our world-view in the coolest way ever: by revealing His.

#HolyGoals

Impure motives give discontent a leg to stand on. Want to drain your gratitude fast? Try idolizing recognition, worldly success, or fame. Try giving in to a selfish motive.

But if your goal is gratitude, then make sure you’re constantly separating your calling from your fleshly wants. We were all made for greatness – and with it humility, purity, and grace. But if a selfish motivation creeps in, attempting to disguise itself as greatness, our gratitude will leak; because contentment can’t co-exist with greed.

Speak It

If there’s someone who you feel grateful for, say so. William Arthur Ward once said, “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”

How amazing would it be if we filled the Church with constant appreciation! Let’s look for opportunities to speak gratitude to those around us; that kind of thing can elevate someone’s week.

There are also SO many things we can tell God “thank You” for. My guess is, if I attempted all of mine in one day, I’d run out of sunlight with a long list still to go. I’m sure you feel the same way. Let’s dwell on His goodness – I know we won’t regret it.

What’s one way gratitude has changed your perspective lately?

ABOUT ANDREA HAMILTON BINLEY

Andrea Hamilton Binley has written music for over 30 TV shows and has performed around the globe as an artist rep for Project AK-47. Andrea is a worship leader at Inland Hills Church in Chino, CA, and a lead singer in the upbeat, synth worship band Binley. The band’s first single, “No Other,” is out now.

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November 6, 2017

Remember When…

Have you ever had a random moment in your day when a smell catches you off guard? And just for a second, it immediately transports you back to a very specific memory or moment in your life?

Well, I had one of those moments happen to me the other day.

My husband’s car was in the shop and so our mechanic let us borrow a loaner car until the work on ours was done. This was a very old, very beat up, VERY smelly car. Being the good wife that I am, I decided to let my husband use my car to commute to work and I begrudginly graciously took the loaner car.

I went to the gym and after a grueling 45 minute bike ride while watching the latest episode of “This Is Us” (yes, I multitask while I work out…please don’t judge) I walked back to my loaner car. When I opened the door, I noticed an open tube of used red lipstick sitting in the cup holder that was begging me to try it on. Alas, it also had dirt flakes on it that begged even louder for me to throw it away. As I sat down I was engulfed by a smell…a very familiar smell…a mix of old crayons and exhaust fumes.

It was…the smell of an old car.

Growing up, my family could not afford new cars so we bought older, slightly used ones that my dad could fix when they broke down. We went through at least 10 cars from when I was in kindergarten til I graduated. And they all had one thing in common…they smelled the same…like old crayons and exhaust fumes.

So you can imagine that the overwhelming smell in that loaner car immediately brought me back to countless car rides growing up. And out of nowhere, my eyes welled up with tears and these words quietly came out of my mouth…”Thank you Jesus”.

If I’m honest, my initial thought was “thank you Jesus that I don’t have to drive cars like this anymore”. That quickly changed to “thank you Jesus for the cars you’ve blessed me with that get me from point A to point B without breaking down”.

And then it happened…I started remembering.

I remembered the bed in the backseat my mom would make for me so I could keep sleeping whenever we picked up my dad from work in the middle of the night. I remembered our road trips from Seattle to Portland to visit my grandparents and the hundreds of times we played the slug bug and license plate game. I remembered early mornings praying that the car would turn on and get us to school on time. I remembered the multiple times ALL of our cars broke down and my dad would be outside in the pouring rain fixing it one more time even though he just got home from working a 4 day trip as a flight attendant.

My “thank you Jesus” kept evolving as I remembered all the good things that came from driving in those old, beat up, smelly cars. I learned what family looked like from those cars. I found my love for adventure and games in those cars. I learned how to pray and watched them get answered in those cars. I learned what hard work and sacrifice was from those cars.

And now, years later, I was learning about thankfulness from those cars.

I don’t know about you, but when it comes to thankfulness, I am a lot like newer cars. I’m a Point A to at Point B person. I’m thankful at the beginning of something and I’m thankful when I’ve reached my destination. But somewhere during the trip, my thankfulness usually gets lost.

Lamentations 3:20-23 says “I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the LORD never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.

Just reading that verse makes me thankful! There’s something about remembering what God has done in our lives, especially during hard situations that make being thankful a lot easier. I know that happened for me while I was sitting in that car smelling all the smells.

When I really thought about it, I saw how God has consistently turned soooo many hard seasons and situations in my life into good things. And the more I remembered what he’s done, the easier it was to be thankful. It also made me worry less about what will happen between Point A and Point B in some situations that are currently happening in my life. I began to feel hopeful again about how they’ll turn out.

I was reminded of something Joyce Meyer often says…“You may not be where you wanna be, but thank God you’re not where you used to be”. I think as we make the daily choice to remember how far God has brought us DURING whatever we’re in, we’ll be surprised at how quickly thankfulness comes and our hope is renewed.

So…let’s start together…right now…while we’re staring at our computers or sitting in our cars or working out at the gym…and pause. Go back to a memory or a moment and allow it to reignite thankfulness in the middle of the journey.

ABOUT AMY LUNA

Amy Luna is originally from Seattle, WA but has lived in LA for over 10 years. She’s been a part of the Oasis Worship team for almost a decade and is an Associate Pastor at Oasis Church. Amy loves music, hiking, the rain and being married for the last 2 years to her amazing husband Nelson Luna.

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October 30, 2017

Fighting Fear With Reality

Fear is a monster.

It’s a prickly little demon that sits on your shoulder and stabs you with “what ifs” and worries every time you start to breathe or enjoy or God forbid, relax.

And the thing about fear, for me, anyhow, is that no matter how much I try to stand up to that fear, the scariest part about that little monster is that it could be right.

What if that person does think I’m unintelligent?

What if my relationship is doomed?

What if I don’t have enough money for that expense next month?

What if that person never forgives me?

I’m pretty skilled at getting to the bottom of my fears, at thinking through the question of “what is really going on here?” But what happens when I get to the bottom and I can’t disprove it or rationalize it away? The problem with “what ifs” are that they are about the future, so I can’t promise they will or won’t come to pass. That leaves me feeling stuck. I am afraid and anxious, my head swirling with fears that I have no response to.

Fear loves to invite its friend, Shame, along to play in our minds. Shame is the creature that tells us to keep quiet, not to admit these things, that we are the only ones who face this, and that there’s something inherently wrong with us that disqualifies us from the peace and security that we see in those around us.

I can’t believe that God intends for us to stay buried under this mountain of fear when His words are so often about life and love and service. There must be something I’m missing or haven’t yet fully believed.

This current season is full of fear and anxiety in my life. On a daily basis, what I have come back to over and over again is this When fear and shame claim the loudest voices in our minds and hearts, our defense is to anchor ourselves in the present, in reality, and in truth.

Anchor myself in the PRESENT

One of the reasons the future can be so terrifying is because it is always a step outside our reach. What is within our reach is today, the present, and that knowledge always brings a fresh relief to my worries. If nothing else, it forces me to acknowledge the presence of today, and my responsibility only to what is in front of me. In fact, what often brings about my anxieties and fears is a wrong belief that I have control over the future, and therefore, must work to secure my own happiness in it. The truth is that I have very little control over anything outside of my attitude, actions, and choices in the present moment. And strangely enough, it seems that’s exactly how God meant for us to live.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:33-34)

Anchor myself in REALITY

I learned a strange-sounding, but oddly-helpful skill from the amazing Beth Moore. She instructs her readers to practice “finishing their worries” with a healthy dose of reality. This seems counter-intuitive, since we are so often prone, or even advised, not to think about the things we are afraid of. Beth says, jump right in and think it all the way through.

Here’s an example: one of my big fears is failure, especially in my career. (Newsflash: pastors and leaders aren’t exempt from this.) I’m afraid I will make a big mistake and have to answer to my leadership about it. This causes me all kinds of hesitance and worry, and keeps me from stepping out and taking risks in my job and community, because I’m afraid of failing.

Beth’s advice is to think through the reality of that. Keep asking yourself, “Then what?” until you get to the end and back to normal reality. When it comes to my fear of failure, it’s not just possible, it’s probable! I will make a mistake and have to face the consequences of it. Then what? Then, I will feel embarrassed and awkward, and have to deal with what comes. Then what? I will probably cry at home and spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to avoid that ever happening again. Then what? Then I will go back to work and people will get past it and so will I. Then what? Then that’s it. Life continues. That can bring a helpful dose of reality for me in the moments when the uncertainties feel like a giant un-conquerable mountain.

Anchor myself in TRUTH

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I have to anchor myself in truth. Truth is what identifies me and reminds me of the bigger picture of the universe and who is in charge.

The truth is that God has been in control, He is in control, and He will continue to be in control, despite every ounce of circumstantial change that can occur in my life, or ever will occur in my life. He is simply more powerful than those possibilities.

Sometimes when we learn something new or a fresh fear is awakened in us, it can feel like everything has changed all of sudden. I like this reminder of truth that while my understanding or awareness may have grown, everything that was true 5 minutes before this is still true now. The world is still turning, God is still victorious, and the end of our story, our truth, cannot be intercepted.

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Anchoring myself in the present, in reality, and in truth leads me again and again to one inevitable result: HOPE. I start to have hope that all is not lost, that there is calm beyond the storm, and that God continues to be in control. Even though my circumstances and reality haven’t changed, and sometimes my feelings of fear and anxiety haven’t waned, I have grounded myself in an unshakable truth that God is still in charge. Then I experience the blessed choice to rest on that anchor, trusting its depth and foundation, instead of my own.

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” (Hebrews 6:19)