February 28, 2018
Blended Love

Growing up I was pretty sure that I knew everything about love…I mean, after all, what teenage girl doesn’t know EVERYTHING about love right? I grew up with parents who were married and loved each other well. In my house, words of affirmation and PDA were ever flowing. My parents had two kids, my brother Jordan and myself, and we constantly felt loved, secure, safe, and wanted. Ever since I was little girl I imagined having a family like the one I grew up in…I would marry a man as loving as my dad. Then this “perfect” man  and I would have “perfect” kids and live happily ever after, end of story. Easy peasy right?

Well, as great as my imaginary family was, God had different plans for me. In November 2016 I married a man who was practically perfect, and this amazing man had two beautiful daughters from a previous marriage. When I looked him in the face on our wedding day and promised forever, I had no idea that I would be entering into the most challenging, yet most rewarding season of life I ever imagined… stepmother hood. Now, after a year and half of marriage and being 9 months pregnant with our first child together, I look back at that teenage girl who had it all figured out, and I laugh.

Being in a blended family is definitely not for the faint of heart… or those without a good sense of humor. I have learned more about love this year and half than I ever have before. There is a verse in the Bible that many of us have heard countless times, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, “ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Now this all sounds really great… until YOU are the one that has to love someone this selflessly. And although I’d like to say I’m good at it…lets not get carried away…I think it’s more fair to say it’s a work in progress at best.

Loving a child can be a fairly easy thing to do for anyone, what’s difficult is loving children that aren’t yours, but they are yours at the same time… and mothering children who have a mother, although you are still their mother, but you’re also not their mother, yet you still need to parent and mother them, and tone it down when their mother is there, but not too much so you don’t lose their respect. Confused yet? Me too. This has been the dance for me and it’s not an easy one. Trusting and leaning on God has never been more important.

Now for the hardest part…. Loving my stepdaughters’ mother. Did I really just say that? Yes…. yes I did. Not just tolerate, not just communicate with, but LOVE her. To love her like Jesus asks us to love means that I ‘hold no record of wrongs’…wait what?! It also means that I persevere through the hardest of times, not just for her sake or mine, but also for the kids and my husband as well. Can you truly love someone that hurt the person you love the most? Let me tell you, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and sometime I fall short…or maybe a lot of times…but hey, it’s a work in progress. Love is an action, not a feeling, so to truly love her and the blended family that I am in, means that I have to forgive her every morning, first thing. It means that my human desire to be right can’t outweigh the desire for peace and to love and forgive.

For the record, my stepdaughters’ mother and I get along well for the most part, and I am sure there are things that I do that really bother her also, but like I said, it’s a dance. It’s learning to pick your battles, learning to forgive, and loving even when it’s difficult. I love my blended family… it’s no fairytale, but it’s a love story of the truest kind… what I call, a beautiful mess.

ABOUT PARIS WAGNER MURPHY

Paris Murphy is a Los Angeles native, daughter to Pastors Philip and Holly Wagner, and CEO and Founder of City of Lights International; a non-profit organization dedicated to providing emergency care to orphaned and vulnerable children in Uganda. Paris is married to David, stepmother to two little girls and is expecting her first baby, a daughter, Justice Reign, any day now. Graduating from California State University Northridge, Paris has a degree in Social Welfare, with emphasis in Child Development and International Relations. She is passionate about seeing vulnerable children getting the love, care and education they deserve. She really enjoys writing and speaking and hopes to encourage people through her life experiences..

February 19, 2018
February: The Month of LOVE

I can’t believe it’s February!  Of course, when I think of February, I think of Valentine’s Day (thanks, Hallmark!).  It is a day of celebrating love, relationships, and all things red and pink.  For some, it is a holiday filled with roses, chocolates, and romantic dates, but for others, it is a day full of anxiety and past hurts.

Many people go into a cave in February, only to crawl out again in March, when Spring in on the horizon.  This dread and avoidance mentality is quite the opposite of the celebration of love that Valentine’s Day promotes.  

So, how do we change that?  How do we promote celebrating love in a healthy way, so it is not just one, single holiday but a daily life choice?

Disclaimer:  I’m not promoting the commercialism of Valentine’s Day, by any means, but instead, looking at the holiday as an opportunity to find freedom from the past and move forward in positive affirmations and expressions of love.

1 John 3:18-20 says, “Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.  Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God.  Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings and He knows everything.”  NLT

This verse is full of action steps, so, here we go:

4 Ways to Love Again

1. More than words:  We all know those 3 words “I love you” carry a ton of weight, so when we say those words, we’d better mean them. 

Too often, those 3 words are tossed around without realizing the weight.  Instead of only saying “I love you” continue the thought and include “I love you when you call me on the phone and actually talk to me instead of just texting” or “I love you because you are thoughtful and heartfelt in how you spend time with our baby” or “I love you even though we had a disagreement about taking out the trash.”

When we qualify the statement, it brings the weight and meaning to the surface and then the next time you say a quick “Love you!” to your husband, as you head off to work one morning, there is more attachment to it than only the words.

2. Truth in action:  When we put weight into our words, this leads to action.  Following up encouraging words with action is a lot more meaningful than the words themselves.

My love language is acts of service, so I am quick to show love to my husband by doing the dishes or going grocery shopping for the week.  His love language is quality time, so while he loves to just talk and hang out together, I get antsy and want to be doing something.  So we find our actionable truth in expressing love to one another by incorporating both things.  We’ll go grocery shopping together and have meaningful conversation while sitting in LA traffic.

No matter what your love language is, the more you put it into action, the more truth you will find in expressing your love for one another.

3. Confidence in God:  When we choose to follow Jesus and experience a loving relationship with Him, we can be confident that our past is over and we are forgiven and redeemed in the life He has for us.  The more we study the truth of what God says about us – we are His children designed to honor and glorify Him – and put that truth in action, the more our love is evident in our everyday lives.

He forgives us when we mess up, so let’s be truly repentant and make daily choices to reflect His love back to Him and out towards others.

This means we can brighten someone’s day with a simple card that includes encouraging words, or give a smile to someone who needs a little cheering up.  God will work in those moments, and He will get the glory.

4. God is love!  He is bigger than our feelings and knows what is best for us at all times!  So let’s relish in that!  Instead of dreading February, let’s remember that Christ died for us because He loves us and it is only right to reciprocate that love to others, no matter how we feel.

Pray that God will give you a heavenly perspective that is full of His grace.  Pray that when you hear “I love you” the next time, you receive its fullest intention and can return that same love in truth and confidence.

May you experience the love and peace of Christ in every area of your life.

 

ABOUT LORI ANN PISCIONERI

Born in Texas and raised in Louisiana, Lori Ann Piscioneri has the pleasure to serve as the Kids Pastor at Oasis Church in Los Angeles, located in the middle of the most populated part of the city – Koreatown.  Oasis is a culturally diverse church with contemporary services and relevant teaching for people of all ages.  Having grown up in church, Lori Ann was first drawn to serve in Kids ministry at Oasis in 2010, and became Kids Pastor in 2013.  She is a professional opera singer and voice teacher and believes God placed her in Kids to help them build their faith and discover their gifts and talents.  Lori Ann and her husband Mike “Pish” serve together, building up disciples for Christ not only in Kids but as Connect Group Leaders and mentors for young adults and couples in Los Angeles.  They write, produce, and perform in exciting and creative curriculum for Kids ages 2 – 12.

February 14, 2018
10 Ways to Love Your Husband
  1. Be kind.
    Most of the time, we are kinder and more polite to strangers and acquaintances than we are to our spouses. It should not be that way, but often it is. Little acts of kindness can go a long way towards creating intimacy.
  1. Demonstrate respect.
    You are not his mother, so don’t talk down to him or nag him. Interrupting him communicates disrespect (at at least, that is what Philip tells me!). So, let him finish his sentences . . . no matter how good you think your ending will would be!
  1. Get some sexy lingerie.
    Enough said, really.
  1. Occasionally be the sexual aggressor.
    He likes/needs to feel that you want him. Don’t just be the passive one. Mix it up!
  1. Go with him to a game/sporting event.
    He really does want your company. It is not about whether or not you like sports —just doing something with him shows your love. (But you are a smart woman, so surely you can learn a thing or two about the sport while you’re at it!)
  1. Kiss him.
    I’m not talking about the quick “don’t mess up my lipstick” kiss, but the “stop and grab his face” kiss. Even if you don’t have time for it to lead anywhere 🙂  . . . kissing is such a great connector!
  2. Listen without interrupting.
    Yes, I know this one is hard . . .
  3. Encourage him.
    Say something encouraging to him. He probably hears negativity all day long from others. What can you say that would be encouraging? What has he done well? Be his biggest cheerleader!!
  4. Say nice things about him in front of others.
    This is huge . . . and communicates love in a whole other way.
  5. Show support for his dreams.
    Come alongside him and support him. Life has a way of deflating our dreams. Let him know that you are with him and believe in him.

ABOUT HOLLY WAGNER

Holly and her husband, Philip, are the Pastors of Oasis Church – a growing, relevant, multi-cultural, church located in Los Angeles. They have been married for over 30 years, love life and enjoy spending time with their two adult children, Jordan and Paris. Holly is passionate about seeing women become who God has designed them to become, and to see every generation of woman extend a helping hand to the generation that is younger. Through the women’s ministry of Oasis, She Rises (GodChicks), she has empowered thousands of women around the world. Holly has written several books including Find Your Brave, WarriorChicks, Love Works, and Awakened.

 

 

February 7, 2018
For I Am Love

It’s that time of year again… when all of the pink hearts and cupids come out and our social media is bombarded with meaningful, but overly affectionate posts. Everywhere you look, “love” is plastered on decorations, desserts, and casually spoken in folded valentines. For many, it’s a time of memory-making and celebration. For others, it’s a confusing and isolating time.

There was a point in my life where hearing that dreaded 3-word phrase sent chills up my spine. Friends of mine would casually call out “I love you!” as they ran out the door or hung up the phone, and I constantly wondered why. What does that really mean and why does everyone insist on saying it?

To me, love was painful. It was angry. It was violating. When someone said “God loves you,” I constantly felt confused because the primary human expression of love I had experienced up to that point did not match the beautiful, gentle description of God’s love in Scripture. It took going on an intense journey of deconstructing that manmade understanding within my heart to reconstruct a correct view of my Savior’s love.

God’s love is boundless. It’s reckless. It literally doesn’t make sense, because we have no matching example of it here on this earth. Many of us, in fact, have a definition of love in our head that is damaging and painful. Until we meet Jesus face to face, we are all on a journey to discovery the depths and the widths and the heights of His love. In reality, whatever understanding we gain from this journey is only a drop’s worth of the oceans of His love. Isn’t that amazing?

God wants us to know His love in a way that changes how we see ourselves and the world around us. Oh, that we would know the overwhelming, never-ending love of God.

If we were to take God’s intimate love put forth throughout the Word and translate it into a single letter, I think it would say something like this:

Dear daughter,

Be still for a moment, and know me. I am Love.

I chose you to be my daughter–before time began, before the foundations of the world. I am an artist, and I made you in the image of my Father. I knitted you together in your mother’s womb, counting every hair on your head along the way. I breathed life into your bones. I know your name, for I have called you by it. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are mine, and I love you; for I am Love.

Have you looked outside today? Do you see the grass on the ground, clothed with color and full of life? Have you glanced upward today to see the birds flying so freely? They have everything they need. How much more will I take care of you? For I am love.

Oh daughter, where there is love, there is no fear. For my love casts it all out! So when you are tempted to doubt and fade into the dark, step into my light. Be strong, be courageous, and fear not, my child, for I am with you. I will strengthen you when you are weak. I will help you when you are in need. I will uphold you, for I am on your side. What can man do to you? Nothing. Remember that my perfect love casts out all fear; for I am Love.

I will always take care of you. When you are hungry, you will feast at my table. When you are thirsty, you will be satisfied with living water. I will fight for you–you need only be still; for I am Love.

This love is patient. It is steadfast. It is far reaching. It is unfailing. There is none greater than me and there is no love greater than this. Nothing can separate you from it. No, not even your sin. I went to the cross while you were still sinning, to show you the depths of my love. By my wounds, you have been made whole. Greater love has no one than this! For I am Love.

My love will never run out on you. In fact, I desire to lavish it upon you day after day. You always have access to it, for you are my beloved child. Now, abide in it. Walk in it. Let it be the thing that clothes you.

For if you live in love, you live in Me. For I am Love.

(Scripture references: 2 Corinthians 6:18, Gen. 2:7, Psalm 46:10, Deuteronomy 7:9, 1 John 4:8, Genesis 1:27, Psalm 143:8, Psalm 139:14, Ephesians 1:4, Ephesians 2:10, Isaiah 43:1, John 1:12, Exodus, 14:14, Isaiah 41:10, Psalm 118:6, Romans 8:35, Romans 8:38-39, Isaiah 53:5, John 15, Colossians 3:14, Ephesians 5:2)

 

ABOUT LINZY WESTMAN

Linzy is a singer/songwriter and worship leader in the San Francisco Bay Area. She leads worship at various churches, conferences, and retreats around the country and is passionate about creating music that helps people connect with the heart of God. Linzy desperately wants to see God’s name lifted high in this hurting world and to help others recognize that it is because of Him we can fight for joy and healing. Her solo EP, Here in the Waiting, was released in July of 2015, shortly following her single entitled “I Surrender All to Thee.” When she’s not doing ministry, you will find her hiking, drinking coffee, or exploring new places with her hubby Dan and their sidekick (son) Peyton.

February 5, 2018
#SheRisesSeries meet Jacey

Meet Jacey. . .
AGE: 68

HOW MANY YEARS SHE’S ATTENDED SHE RISES CONFERENCE: Too many to count!

3 WORDS TO DESCRIBE CONFERENCE: Meaningful, joyful, overwhelming.

WHY SHE KEEPS ATTENDING: Community of women and great messages.

HER FAVORITE CONFERENCE MOMENT: I love the praise and worship (especially the Oasis team!) and Joyce Meyer.

WHAT SHE WOULD SAY TO SOMEONE CONSIDERING ATTENDING CONFERENCE: It’s a great way to make friends, share stories, feel safe and hear from God.

HER STORY: God has healed and delivered me from my dark days. The doctors called it bi-polar disorder and that I would have to be on medication my entire life. Well, I am in my late sixties, but God did heal me and I am off all my medication. I have never felt better, or happier or more at peace than I do now and, if it took over sixty years to get here, I’m fine with that.  I have found peace that surpasses all understanding. I am free from fear. I have joy unspeakable.  My focus has become less on myself and more on Jesus and how I can help contribute to His Kingdom. It’s not easy to battle the enemy, but I’ve discovered that it is possible, with God. His ways are higher than mine and trusting Him has become more than just saying that I trust Him, it has become my truth. It’s a beautiful thing and I’m thankful every moment. God is love.

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