October 30, 2017
Fighting Fear With Reality

Fear is a monster.

It’s a prickly little demon that sits on your shoulder and stabs you with “what ifs” and worries every time you start to breathe or enjoy or God forbid, relax.

And the thing about fear, for me, anyhow, is that no matter how much I try to stand up to that fear, the scariest part about that little monster is that it could be right.  

What if that person does think I’m unintelligent?

What if my relationship is doomed?

What if I don’t have enough money for that expense next month?

What if that person never forgives me?

I’m pretty skilled at getting to the bottom of my fears, at thinking through the question of “what is really going on here?” But what happens when I get to the bottom and I can’t disprove it or rationalize it away? The problem with “what ifs” are that they are about the future, so I can’t promise they will or won’t come to pass. That leaves me feeling stuck. I am afraid and anxious, my head swirling with fears that I have no response to.

Fear loves to invite its friend, Shame, along to play in our minds. Shame is the creature that tells us to keep quiet, not to admit these things, that we are the only ones who face this, and that there’s something inherently wrong with us that disqualifies us from the peace and security that we see in those around us.

I can’t believe that God intends for us to stay buried under this mountain of fear when His words are so often about life and love and service. There must be something I’m missing or haven’t yet fully believed.

This current season is full of fear and anxiety in my life. On a daily basis, what I have come back to over and over again is this When fear and shame claim the loudest voices in our minds and hearts, our defense is to anchor ourselves in the present, in reality, and in truth.

  1. Anchor myself in the PRESENT

One of the reasons the future can be so terrifying is because it is always a step outside our reach. What is within our reach is today, the present, and that knowledge always brings a fresh relief to my worries. If nothing else, it forces me to acknowledge the presence of today, and my responsibility only to what is in front of me. In fact, what often brings about my anxieties and fears is a wrong belief that I have control over the future, and therefore, must work to secure my own happiness in it. The truth is that I have very little control over anything outside of my attitude, actions, and choices in the present moment. And strangely enough, it seems that’s exactly how God meant for us to live.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:33-34)

  1. Anchor myself in REALITY

I learned a strange-sounding, but oddly-helpful skill from the amazing Beth Moore. She instructs her readers to practice “finishing their worries” with a healthy dose of reality. This seems counter-intuitive, since we are so often prone, or even advised, not to think about the things we are afraid of. Beth says, jump right in and think it all the way through.

Here’s an example: one of my big fears is failure, especially in my career. (Newsflash: pastors and leaders aren’t exempt from this.) I’m afraid I will make a big mistake and have to answer to my leadership about it. This causes me all kinds of hesitance and worry, and keeps me from stepping out and taking risks in my job and community, because I’m afraid of failing.

Beth’s advice is to think through the reality of that. Keep asking yourself, “Then what?” until you get to the end and back to normal reality. When it comes to my fear of failure, it’s not just possible, it’s probable! I will make a mistake and have to face the consequences of it. Then what? Then, I will feel embarrassed and awkward, and have to deal with what comes. Then what? I will probably cry at home and spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to avoid that ever happening again. Then what? Then I will go back to work and people will get past it and so will I. Then what? Then that’s it. Life continues. That can bring a helpful dose of reality for me in the moments when the uncertainties feel like a giant un-conquerable mountain.

  1. Anchor myself in TRUTH

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I have to anchor myself in truth. Truth is what identifies me and reminds me of the bigger picture of the universe and who is in charge.

The truth is that God has been in control, He is in control, and He will continue to be in control, despite every ounce of circumstantial change that can occur in my life, or ever will occur in my life. He is simply more powerful than those possibilities.

Sometimes when we learn something new or a fresh fear is awakened in us, it can feel like everything has changed all of sudden. I like this reminder of truth that while my understanding or awareness may have grown, everything that was true 5 minutes before this is still true now. The world is still turning, God is still victorious, and the end of our story, our truth, cannot be intercepted.

—

Anchoring myself in the present, in reality, and in truth leads me again and again to one inevitable result: HOPE. I start to have hope that all is not lost, that there is calm beyond the storm, and that God continues to be in control. Even though my circumstances and reality haven’t changed, and sometimes my feelings of fear and anxiety haven’t waned, I have grounded myself in an unshakable truth that God is still in charge. Then I experience the blessed choice to rest on that anchor, trusting its depth and foundation, instead of my own.

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” (Hebrews 6:19)

 

ABOUT SARAH ROSE LOCHELT

Sarah Rose Lochelt is a Southern-California native who is passionate about the power of communication and the connection that happens through conversation, especially when there is coffee involved. She is a pastor in the LA area and loves to write and speak about the lies of shame, the truth of grace, and the freedom that comes from relating authentically to one another, especially for women in the church. She always has at least one book to read in her purse, is infamous for making silly faces at babies in public, and could live on pizza for every meal.

October 25, 2017
Together Is Better

I recently co-planted a church 5 months ago. It has been an incredible journey that has stretched me in my leadership. For those of you that have been a part of planting a church, you know that it requires many hats. My title is Associate Pastor, however I currently wear the hat of worship pastor, operations, creative director, small groups and serve coordinator, events, marketing, website, social media… I could go on! Looking at that list actually makes me nervously chuckle a bit.

I have had to learn very quickly that I cannot do it on my own. And to be honest, burn out would come very quickly if I tried to. Together is better! We need people around us serving in their sweet spot if we are going to effectively reach people for Jesus.

In the last 6 months, I have had to switch most of my attention to developing people. So what does development tangibly look like?

  • Focus on the long term goal, not the immediate need.
    Sometimes, as church leaders, we get too focused on the immediate need. “I NEED a greeter!” So we plug in joe-schmo to the greeter position when he is a total introvert and actually hates initiating conversation. This is not going to last long term and we end up with the same problem down the line. Find people who can operate in their sweet spot and they will stand the test of time.
  • Focus on others, not yourself.
    People matter. Developing people not only means plugging them into the right area of service, but actually caring for them. I don’t want to be the person that asks “how are you?” as a greeting. I want to genuinely mean it. “HOW ARE YOU DOING… FOR REAL?” Let’s be leaders who go further in our shepherding. We must be full of love and compassion.
  • Focus on follow-up, not forgetting someone in the process.
    Unfortunately, it is so easy for someone to get lost in the system. You plug them into their area and then they never hear from you again. NO NO NO! We have to be consistent in our development. This gets harder as your church gets bigger, so it is even more important to develop leaders who can in turn develop other leaders. Don’t let people get lost. Make sure you are following up and checking in.
  • Focus on prayer, not control.
    Prayer is powerful, people! If you are in need of someone to teach kids, play in the band, help with creative ideas or whatever, give it to God! He hears our prayers. I recently lost a consistent keys player in our band so I prayed and asked God to provide. Two weeks later, a girl introduced herself saying she wanted to audition for the band and play keyboard! Praise God for provision when we need it most.

I am still learning and God is continually stretching me in the area of development, but I know this (and I am sure you have heard this quote before)…

“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” -African Proverb

Together is better. So leaders, take the time to invest in others. Your development of people will help propel your church to the next level.

 

 ABOUT ASHLEY BECKFORD

Ashley Beckford is a worship pastor and songwriter from Southern California. Previously a member of the pastoral staff at Christ’s Church of the Valley in San Dimas where she served as the Worship Pastor for 6 years and Adult Ministries Pastor for 2 years, Ashley has recently been called to plant Unite Church in Pasadena as their Associate Pastor. A gifted leader and songwriter, she loves to develop people, especially other women in worship. Ashley recently joined the She Leads team as the ministry lead to worship and creative leaders. Ashley loves spending time with her husband, Lance, son, Declan, and dog, Oreo.

October 16, 2017
We All Deal with Fear

We all deal with fear.

Not simply at one crossroad of life, but throughout the different seasons, it appears, again and again, offering a seemingly safer, more comfortable route of passage for our anxious hearts.

Fear is a chameleon.

It creatively changes its appearance depending on the most convincing chance of entry to our soul. It creates a facade veiled in “concern” and “balance”. It sings a soothing song that lulls our God dreams to sleep as we choose to trust the voices of others instead of the Holy Spirit. Fear feeds our deepest fears with more fear. After all, while at first meek and mild, once given attention, fear is a drama king that loves the spotlight. Fear takes over every thought process, conversation and situation with “what if’s” that rapidly spiral into hopeless despair.

There was a time in my life that I came to the realization that fear was dictating my life choices. Doors were opening and I was closing them because of a genuine fear of failure. I had a fear of being anything less than perfect and my unwillingness to take risks was causing me to miss out on beautiful opportunities brimming with destiny. My family brought the truth to my attention and it startled me and immediately put me on the defense. I was crushed as my Dad lovingly but strongly said to me “DawnCheré if you don’t step into what God has called you to do, he will use someone else.” Aaah! Shot to the heart for this teenager at the time lol. For a timid high- schooler, those words swept over me like a cold tsunami. I was crushed. I cried as I allowed the voice of fear to once again convince me that Dad had behaved harshly and unnecessarily. My mom came and sat beside me as I wept tears of frustration. She said, “DawnCheré, your Dad is not mad at you. He is speaking to the warrior inside of you to stand up and fight.” And suddenly the voice of the Holy Spirit within my heart became louder than the fear. I realized I didn’t have to surrender any longer to this paralyzing enemy. I could choose to trust God more than the fear. I could choose to take my eyes off of myself and put them on the needs around me. I was free to choose.

In that season I found weapons to fight my fear through scriptures like “there is no fear in love, perfect love casts out all fear” and “the joy of the Lord is my strength”. After all, who wants to be fearless but joyless as well? No one. And as I walked in obedience the fear didn’t immediately leave but faith overtook its hold! Now Rich and I often say, we choose to run towards the things that make us afraid. Fear won’t control our destinies.

You see, friends and family can help you identify fear in your life but only you can choose to fight fear with faith. It’s your mind, your body, your life and your choice alone to aggressively wage war. This choice is a gift from God. And no matter how many years you have relinquished your choice to fight, today you can make the decision and walk into freedom.

I’m grateful that the Bible so clearly gives us real handles as to how to combat fears’ paralyzing grasp. God doesn’t want to help you conceal your fear, he wants to reveal it so that it no longer has power over your life. Once you identify that the driving force for your specific mindset or actions is rooted in fear you are able to reject it and then remove it from its place of occupancy.

I have found strength from many peoples lives within the Bible but Gideon is such a genuine encouragement to me. He went from a man in hiding to a hero. All because he chose to relinquish fear and pick up the courage. He made a choice to trust God. Judges 6:12 tells us of the angel of the Lord appearing to Gideon as he hides in a winepress from the enemy.

12 And the angel of the Lord appeared to him and said to him, “The Lord is with you, O mighty man of valor.”

God saw Gideon as a man of courage even before he saw himself that way! Why? Because God created Gideon. God created him to fight with courage and gave Gideon the ability to choose faith in God over fear. Gideon went on to fight battles and lead Gods people to victory. How quickly our fear is overcome by the spirit of God if we just surrender and obey! Stop belittling yourself and awaken to the love of God that calls out your true identity even in moments of weakness! In every season God is waiting to bring your heart to a place of real victory, again and again.

In my life, it wasn’t just the one exchange with my parents that settled my freedom from fear once and for all. I have had to reject fear in many seasons since… as I went to college, got married, moved to Miami, planted VOUS Church two years ago and even this month as we faced Hurricane Irma. Fear is a lame lingerer. It sits around waiting for another opportunity for an “in”. Allow the holy spirit to help you identify areas of your life that perhaps are being limited by fear. Trust God today to give you the strength to no longer allow fear to have any space in your mind or heart. You are FREE. So walk in it. xx

Thoughts for today:
What are areas in your life allowing fear to take residency?
Has fear returned to your heart in a new disguise?
What scriptures have you hidden in your heart to combat fear and choose courage?

 

ABOUT DAWNCHERÉ WILKERSON

DawnCheré Wilkerson is a speaker, singer, songwriter and pastor who loves nothing more than to encourage people of all ages to never give up! Her contagious joy and zeal bring a uniquely impacting perspective on life. She and her husband Rich are currently planting VOUS Church in downtown Miami and they also host the annual VOUS Conference on South Beach at the historic Fillmore Theater. VOUS Church is a catalyst of creativity, diversity, encouragement and community centered around the message of Jesus. Rich and DawnCheré recently offered a peek inside their world with their docu-series, Rich In Faith, a 10 episode feature on the Oxygen network.

IG: DawnCheré

October 3, 2017
When the Fog Rolls In

I live in southern, sunny California. Most days are clear blue skies with a slight taste of salt water in the air. From February to (sometimes) June the weather patterns in our area often cause an eerie, ghost like fog to come rolling through the canyons. When the fog rolls in, it is difficult to see what is right in front of you, a chill fills the air and we long for the sunny days of summer.

A few months ago, I went for a morning hike with a friend up on the cliffs facing the beautiful Pacific Ocean. It was a path we walk often. We were very familiar with its twists and turns but on this day we could only see the ground right in front of us. The ocean and endless horizon were hidden from our gaze by a heavy cloud of fog. Although we knew it was there, we could not see it. We were also forced to walk more cautiously as the trail was covered in this haze of fog and a wrong step could ensure a major fall or a turn in the wrong direction. The imagery reminded me of the moments in our lives when the fog rolls in.

Maybe you find yourself in a season like this! You have been walking through life, striving after all God has for you. At one point, you had a clear sky, endless horizon and vision of what was ahead. You were taking steps in the right direction, navigating the ups and the downs of the journey. Then the fog rolled in. What you once could see so clearly is completely clouded in a haze of doubt, questions and fears. The chill in the air stings with inadequacy and what you what you once enjoyed in the sunshine becomes uncomfortable and uncertain. You find yourself tempted to stop or turn around.

Maybe you have said yes to a huge step of faith. Your life is taking a turn in a new direction. The path before you is unfamiliar and the future ahead of you is covered in fog. The uncertainty of what is ahead causes you to long for what is behind and anxiety attempts to paralyze your steps.

In all seasons of our lives, I think God allows us to have beautiful, sunny days with a clear vision for the future! We aim our lives in that direction but much of the journey is often spent in the fog. The fog forces us to trust and to not lean on our own understanding but rather to carefully lean into the Holy Spirit as our guide.

Habakkuk 2:2-3 tells us
“Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it. For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.”

God will give you a vision for this life he has entrusted you with. It points you in the right direction. It is your responsibility to hold on to the vision when it seems slow, when it is delayed, when you are afraid; to keep moving forward when all you can see is the one step in front of you. The problem is, the fog stirs up questions and brings on doubt. I’ve known many people to turn around and re-direct their path when the fog rolls in.

It is easy to wonder if you made a mistake or if that dream was really from God when you can’t see clearly. Big course changing decisions should not be made in the fog. In the fog, we should stay true to the path right in front of us and the step we are on. Be faithful with what is currently in your hands. Doubt stirs up distraction and often dissension if we are not careful. It can deter us from the path God has intended us to take. The fog is a playground for the enemies lies and deception. Let’s not become distracted.

If God has given you a vision and dream for your life, don’t doubt in the dark what he showed you in the light. God is the author and fulfiller of all his promises. Be confident in the path He has called you.

If you are married…stay married
If you are serving….keep serving
If you are leading…keep leading
If you are believing….keep believing
(you get my point)

When I was walking with my friend, we were forced to slow our normally fast paced, calorie burning, multi-tasking workout connection into a purposeful conversation. The fog causes us to slow down. Our steps must become intentional and not hurried. For those of us who are trailblazers or visionary dreamers, this process of patience is frustrating but is key to keeping us on course. It prevents us from focusing to much attention on the “bright, shiny, exciting future” and more on the steps at hand.

Psalm 46:10 tells us to
 “Be still and know that I am God.”

In other versions it says “Cease striving and know.”  Instead of panicking in the seasons of fog, could you stop and allow the stillness and mystery to drive you into a deeper understanding of who Jesus is? Could you allow this season to bring more intentionality to what you are doing and less to where you are going? When our pace is forcibly slowed down and we stop striving so hard, a season of fog can actually become quite beautiful and peaceful.

A final thought for navigating the fog; trust those who are a few steps ahead in the journey. You don’t have all the answers and you don’t know it all. To navigate the twists and turns in the midst of the unseen, we all need the voices of leaders speaking into our lives. Learn to listen well. Ask questions. Be teachable. Don’t isolate yourself in the journey, we all need friends by our side encouraging us to heed the wisdom we’ve been given, to stay the course and to not give up. We really are better together.

Hold on to hope. Discover the beauty of trusting God in uncertainty. The fog will clear, the sun will shine and the view will be worth it! Just don’t give up!

 

ABOUT MEGHAN ROBINSON

Meghan and her husband Carey pastor The Movement Church in Orange County California! Meghan is a wife, mom to two beautiful girls, church planter, pastor, speaker, friend, and big dreamer! Her greatest passion is helping women identify the God dream inside of them and awaken to their greater purpose! She also loves seeing women in ministry connected, equipped and inspired and is a part of our She Leads team!

IG: Divapastor | Twitter: MeghanLRobinson

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